It's been some time. Time flies, and it's coming to end of february and the new month of march begins.

1 more month to the terror begins. I must make it through. But i've yet to lay my hands onto it. Haha! Anyway have been real busy with work and work and work. Haven't been partying for nearly a month. Haha! Seriously my mood is gone somewhere.

And i'm happy it's a brand new chapter of life again. I hope it's the last and all. Each day goes by, i would hope both of us for the best. I'm glad and i'm happy. Although there had been up & downs, but it's worth it. And i also hope july & aug will be gone fast. 2 months of .... Haha!

Back to work today. Took a day of medical leave yester. Wasnt feeling good and also feeling extremely tired. Weekends was more likely staying home to rest for the day but head out at night. I need to restrict myself for the nights as i'm getting insufficient sleep the next day.

Last friday was an impromtu decision to head z&p with pp. Such a coincidence, i met jarrel again. A huge joke of himself. Not to elaborate it. I dont know why i dont really enjoyed myself that day prolly because of the crowds or whatever. Sat night met up with j,l & k. Went bai nian at night at jj's house and last minute getting oranges. Afterwhich chilling at airport guiding l with accts. Homed at 4am! Straight 2 days i'm homed at this hour. Sun was nothing unusual and went tuition and back home. Last minute night out guiding l. Homed at 2 plus am. Phew! That kinda explain why i took leave the next day.

Today marks the end of january. And it's cny day 9. Time passes by fast. Like i mentioned before, i simply love cny day 1 all the time. Except for this year, a lil pissed with one thing. But overall is fine. To think of it, 7 months has passed. I ever dreamt of having a partner who is a police and all. Damn mindset of mine. And here comes one, and i realised there wasnt much time from him. I'm aint sure is he busy everyday or. I dont know. My heart couldnt set firm. I still couldnt get over the him. I mean i'm just confused. Im afraid, im lack of confidence and all this. Perhaps i really in need of alot of time. I couldnt get to sleep last night, feeling vexed. Its too fast i guess. Dear lord, please do guide me along. Hold my hands and held me in your arms and tell your dear child here what should i do, what should i choose, i dont wanna get heartbroken wasting time on the wrong one. I kept reminding myself time will come time will heal mi time will make me eventually forget certain stuffs. Will it happen?

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

It've been a long weekend. 6 days away from work, not that bad. But best if i get my arse back to work only like monday i'd shout it out loud SHIOK max! Haha.

Saturday woke up early and left the house early to collect my pp tarts at tjp. Afterwhich off to clarkequay to remove my gelishnails. Know what the best, i forgot to bring the damn small piece of paper which by right i dont have to even pay anything to remove. Okay fine, i paid another 30bucks! :( And had my lunch alone at seoulyummy. Glassnoodles! :) And off to town myself for cny shopping. Everywhere is packed. Dindin with the boys at night at ajisen! Slurrppp! :)

Sunday i woke up early again! Hehe. Off to town to get my bangle bow to be tighten. And an hour of shopping! Haha. Feels good this time when the quene to the fitting room is fast! Muhaha! And did my gelish nails! Worst it's way exp! $1XX.XX for gelish mani & pedi! Oh well festive seasons and there goes the high surcharge! :( Reunion dindin started at 7pm! Best soup of all time fav! Yummy!

Cny day 1 woken up early and rotted there watching tv. Hungry man equals to an angry man! I had my first meal of the day at like 5ish? Oh well but mommy specially asked auntie to cook my fav 'bai guo' for mi to eat! :) Woke up seeing mommy preparing the ingredients to bring over to grandma's house to cook! Thanks so much with love! :) And as usual gugu's house at night for steamyboat! And my wedge boots were killing mi with blisters!

Daddykin & Mommykin.

Pink Lipstick, like a goldfish face.

Cousins.

Cny day 2 was spending at home. Mommy cooked dindin for us! I always love my mom's cooking. Hehe! Cny day 3 - Lunch with daddykin and mommykin at seafood resturant! Wow, the fish head curry was the most thumbs up and also my favourite mushroom veges! Slurrp slurrp! Haha! Worth it. A lil secret, i had 2 bowls of rice! Hehe! This festive season i seriously put on weight again! Hehe.

And worst is i'm back to reality back to work today! :( Which i am feeling so unreluctant to and i'm thinking did i hear wrongly my boss was saying chu 4 back to work or chu 10? HAHAHAHA!

Ever thought of how to forget someone literally? I dont know how to describe at times. Some nights i could hardly fall to sleep easily. Thoughts were pretty heavy. Last night i was feeling tired but i couldnt get to sleep easily at all. Some random thoughts of you filled my mind. I may missed those times with you. I may blame myself for not being good enough to your expectations. But i believed i really gave in alot and did alot of things for you. But you just couldnt get to see it or i'd say you dont bother to take a look. I know that i fallen deep but i've been trying all ways to crawl back to square one. Coming to the 7th month. We were still silent not knowing how've you been and all. All i can do is taking a sneek peek at your small little photo of you which you and me like it alot. Time flies, everything changed. I still wish you are good.

TGIF the 13th.

Lately i've been addicted to this song from twilight - Vanilla. Listening to it just makes me feel kinda good and bit of what is down in my heart. Replay and replay ...

Anyway was back to school yester. Maybe the start is bit of easy and also boring, but i know still got more difficult parts coming up and it may be more easier. Pray hard i shall not skip any of the lesson. Basically, for jan & feb it'd be good though, lessons only on monday. For march it'll be back to 2 days a week. Whole of this module ends in end of march. And exams, oh gosh!

1 more week more to cny. Thank god lesson only falls on monday which means i can have enough time to prepare my stuffs before cny. After a long pestering, my mom finally told me our reunion dindin will be eaten at home. By right it was supposed to eat outside but she claimed it's way exp so dont wanna us to pay such a sum. Oh well. Anyway i more of wanting her to cook too. I simply cant descibe how good her steamboat soup is. Seriously she could overnight boil the soup. It cant be comparable from what eaten outside. Hehe! Good life! Cant wait like seriously! :)

Tonight party night, hopefully Missy J no last min back out. And i've got a tuition tonight. :(

Happy weekends! :)

Looking forward much to CNY. I need a good break or a good getaway badly.

My mood hasnt been here and stays well to focus on my work. I felt that each day i dont do much, i'll be watching dramas, fb-ing and tweeting. :( I'm just so laid back seriously! This is badddd!

Bad news i received yester, back to last module tmr! Aww, super power max schedule. Not looking forward to third module. This is weird, and exams in 2 to 3 months time! Omgawd!

Anyway, lately i've been looking back at some stuffs in life. Realised age is simply catching up. Have yet to score my goals. And i've put on great weight? :( Okay this sounds bad. I missed those times i can fit into petite size pretty clothes. But now .... :( Sad much. In need of routine runs in the park. But my body is feeling lazy unlike the past. I need to shed those fats awayyy! I need lots of self-motivation seriously. Secondly, driving theory exam long over, i need to stop idling and go go go for my practical stuffs and all. Hopefully pray hard this year i could get my license. No more delaying. Thirdly, faster score well in my exams and proved for myself. Forthly, im looking forward for hk trip. Either march or later part of the year.

This few days, still, i've lots of flashbacks. I think i've to do something about all this thoughts i had. I should stop go and view the only profile pic i can find of. I know i've to move on and of course be strong. Somewhere it's been holding me bit here and there. This is so wrong. I cant deny i may wish at times we could talk again, i may have that seconds of harsh moments wanting to text you. But i know i should think twice. I've been thinking as well did i really ever love the wrong person. I seriously don't know or maybe all this is a mistake to be started. Get an eraser and rub it away, i wish it's pretty easy like this. I dont tends to tell anyone of how i felt or much, this is the only space i could or rather pour it out thinking perhaps i'd feel better. Maybe for only an instance. Next instance it'd be back to square one. Thinking back of those days really mark it deep in my heart. Cny nearing, i'd be busy with helping you getting your shorts to alter it and you'd be telling mi you may follow your parents back to hk or maynot. And i'd feel that instance of disappointment. 2 cny 2 diff years i've wanting to invite you home for reunion dinner. I'd have the guts and suddenly it just disappear. I ever wonder one day would you take the initiative and talk to me again or never. This sounds stupid. Frankly, everything hurts me still today. Times i dont wanna remb all this and never want it to be a memory. Party hard to get over it, but knewing it's only a one night thing. Next day you'd get to remb it. I asked inside myself, why cant you ever let me feel happy again for even that short moments when you once make mi feel that you are so near mi.

Okay i need some icecream to cool the shit off my head.

2nd week of a new year.

Started my monday morning with a terrible stomachache! :( Monday was just so bad today. I had insufficient sleep. I realised on every sunday i really suffered from insomnia. My thoughts were heavy. Damn. Tossing & turning it just feels so bad. And next day i'd feel zombie enough and sleepy much! But thank god no class for the week.

Anyway weekend was spent well with the right people. Friday was z&p. A new drink i tried, dreamer. Yummy! Was pretty high on friday but bit boring in p. Haha! Sat was hangover day, woke up 12 plus 1 and went over zy's crib. Wanted to tan, in the end lazy. Seriously laid back day. Sat by the pool enjoying the strong wind breeze. Really shiok! Then in the end, we decided to dip into the pool. Hehe! And bought dindin to stac's crib and laid back again! Haha! Met up with J, Te, Hm, K at hollandv. Coffeeclub and impromptu decision drinking at a bar. My all time fav drink blue curaco. Not so bad but sweet. Home sweet home next. Sunday was tuition with missy e. Was feeling lazy to head home so went pp to shop around. Bought nothing much except a new towel and facial products.

It's only 2nd week of a new year. But i seems to fail up my resolutions. I really been trying hard to remove you in my heart. But last night i thought through alot. Suddenly i remembered the time you hit and strangled on mi when you were so angry with mi. But when you left, you still texted mi. I just get to realised that even i know there is total insecurity, yet because i still hold on till the last bit. I remb the bracelet you surprised mi and gave mi. I just feel special when you gave it to mi, and the bracelet was the best gift i ever received frankly. You ever gave me a chance for mi to say out the problems, but i did not mentioned anything. If god really give me a chance to say now, i wont mind. At least my heart burden will weigh lesser. Sometimes i'd thought i should return you the bracelet yet i dont bear to do so. I really hope one fine day my mind no longer thinks back of you or anything. I just wanna move on to a better chapter just like the day you left you told me the same too.

Hello 2012, bon voyage 2011.

A new year kick start, of course new resolutions. 2011 has been an up & down year filled with sorrows and also happiness. Memories stayed, goodbye sorrows. And my dear fake boyf was reminding mi that i may just past my 22nd birthday, but year 2012 i'm like 23 years old! Oh dear, we grown up so much! Can you imagine few years down the road we gotta have a family of our own. Wow! Haha!

The long weekend was indeed power-the-full and also tired max. Haha! Fri inititally z&p with the usual people but p was too packed and we cant enter! :( So hop to ph instead. Random choice! Mr D was there and a free waterfall and a beer from him for belated bday! Haha. Sat was countdown with J & Louis at HollandV at Fosters. Ambience is good. After being tempted, we hop to ph again! Haha! Sun merely 3 hours of sleep. Well done. Shopping with mommy at nex and yumyum lunch at DingTF. Night time was potluck with J & J's mommy & K. Grocery shopping and cooking. Pasta, brocolli, mashed potato. Damn yumyum! Haha! It's been so long i could tolerate throughout the day with that merely 3 hours of sleep. Well done! And monday was finally a catch up session with missy gold.hy. Happy! It's been few months. Towning & shopping like some rich taitais! Haha! Good food at our usual jap resturant. Buy & eat & drink! :)

Okay back to reality, back to work. And i dont feel good yester. I mean just so bad. Start of the day was the first scolding, late noon another scolding. :/ Was kinda pissed to the max. When i was very angry, i'd tear. Weird. But i indeed tolerated and swallowed it. So forget it! I'm considering taking a short break away. Maybe afterwhich i'd feel more refreshed. Seriously, lately the mood of working is not there.

Anyway new year new resolutions. I'm looking forward to cny! Yay! Havent decided what clothes to get though. Indeed fast, about 3 weeks away to cny. Hopefully the application is successful. I wanna revamp my room! And still aint sure when is the last module gonne start. Best after cny. Hehe! Glad that Nic's daddy called mi back for tuition again. Happy teaching Nic anyway. Can't wait for my exams to be over by April as well. Gonna chiong for 2 papers in March or April. I will do well, i tell myself.

When the new year begins, i decided to put away whatever memories i had for you. I mean people changed and we just gotta move on. It's been coming to 7 months. Time really flies in a blink. I dont know where you are and what are you doing right now. I think the best choice is prolly you make the best choice. Both of us could search for a happier life and a partner. For now, i may not be interested in anyone, as my heart still lingers a lil bit for you, but i've to be stern and firm to tell myself, it's a new year and i shall put away all this already. Once i told myself, if he meants to be yours, it'll eventually be. Till now, the words you marked down upon me before you left, it still hurt badly deep inside. I wished i can immediately forget it, but i'd take it as a reminder and a lesson learnt to myself. Maybe this is how we grow to be better. Insecurity caused mi to have too much unsolved problems with you. Whatever it is, it's over.

A great new start for everyone! :)